Beginning Writers: 5 Biggest Mistakes!

Having been an editor and writer for many years, I often get a new writer asking if I will take a look at their work. I don't mind: we all started somewhere. I always feel that a beginning writer who is asking for help is a beginning writer willing to learn, and likely to improve. It's the ones who never ask for honest feedback - hungry only for empty nonspecific praise - that worry me, because they are more interested in being told they are good than in putting in the work and determination to really become good.

I always try to point out the things that a new writer is doing right. Knowing what you are doing right is as important as knowing what you are doing wrong. And it's the knowledge that you do some things well that keeps you striving for a better manuscript.

That being said, I do find that there are common areas where many beginning writers make mistakes. These problems are for the most part easy to fix, easy to learn, but they make an enormous difference in the overall quality of your writing. The bottom line for me, both as an editor and as a writer, is how hard does the reader have to work?  Reading should never be a chore; the darkest novel should be an enjoyable journey for the reader. Habits that get in the way of that happening are the habits that I encourage a new writer to break.

1 - Write a good opening.  There are many reasons for this, but the biggest are these: a good opening will grab the reader and hold him/her, and a good opening will grab a prospective publisher.

Editors at publishing houses who sort through new submissions will literally read your first paragraph - if you're lucky your first page - and make the decision whether to toss it.  I can't stress enough how important your opening lines and paragraph are. And well it should be, because readers won't read past a boring opening, as they stand in the grocery store browsing books, or sit at the computer reading Amazon samples. If the reader is bored by the beginning, the book does not sell. Period.

But how to do it?  Well, the opening sentence or two should say something surprising, something unpredictable, something unusual.  Which of these books would you like to read? :

A.  On a sunny Wednesday, Henry got into the car to go to the mall. He needed to shop for some new jeans.

B.  As Henry pulled into the parking lot of the mall, he swallowed his terror: walking into crowds was never something he could do without rising nausea.

In example A, Henry is doing something we all do. No surprise, nothing. Boring. We know nothing about him but his name. There is nothing to compel us to keep reading; no foreshadowing, no hint of a good story to come. We have two sentences, but have said little to nothing.  In example B, we have hinted at a story - and we have already begun to develop Henry's character. We know that he is terrified of crowds, and why? We know that he has decided that he either must go anyway, or he feels forced to go by someone or something else, and why?  The reader is already asking to know more.

I have heard it said that a good story should never be written starting at the beginning, but somewhere after the action begins - somewhere after the start.  I like that, although the beginning writer can get tangled in flashbacks, and that is another can of worms.

2 - Incorporate description into the narrative, and don't overdo it.  When I see this done badly, I can nearly hear the prose screaming "Amateur!" Never stop the story to describe a character. A description should never read as an aside to the audience/reader. It should flow naturally as part of the narrative. Let's look at our example B above. I could describe Henry this way:

As Henry pulled into the parking lot of the mall, he swallowed his terror: walking into crowds was never something he could do without rising nausea. He was dressed like a geek, and had thick glasses and an outdated haircut that he got at a barbershop. He had a plaid shirt.

Now that offers a little description, yes. But the problem is that it breaks the flow - and thus breaks the reader's concentration and enjoyment. Rather, we need to make that description a part of the story.  At this point, we already know that something is frightening Henry. His paranoia and fear is something ongoing, every time he walks into a crowd. That is a lot of information for a first paragraph. I would recommend to a writer that we leave it at that for now. In a later paragraph we can work in some more description if the writer feels it is warranted.

Let me say here that many good characters are never physically described in any real detail. It just isn't necessary. Some writers openly state that they like to allow the reader to form his or her own picture, and not let narrative interfere with that too much. But let's say that you just really want that plaid shirt and those glasses to be part of Henry. How to do it?

We could simply say:  As Henry pulled into the parking lot of the mall, he swallowed his terror: walking into crowds was never something he could do without rising nausea. He nervously pushed his glasses up on his nose, wishing he didn't wear them: they were thick and made him look like a geek. 

Here, the description is not offered as an aside, but rather as part of Henry's thinking about himself - it remains a part of the narrative. Plus, we have the added benefit of adding another character trait: he is nervous about his appearance.

As far as the shirt goes, it could be added later as part of the observation of another character regarding Henry's looks. Or, we could say something like Henry stopped inside the automatic doors to push the tails of his red plaid shirt into his trousers. Again, the description is offered as part of the narrative.

3 -  Keep dialogue realistic.  Obey this important rule to prevent your readers pausing to giggle, or worse, roll their eyes. Listen to the way people speak:  Too often a beginning writer will have Character A saying this, then Character B saying that. Both speak in complete sentences.  But in real life, Character A has gotten half a statement out and pauses for breath as Character B jumps in with another half-sentence. People struggle to be understood, search for words, misspeak. They speak in thoughts, half-thoughts, rarely in complex complete sentences.

I can't recommend highly enough that you read dialogue out loud as you write it. Read at the pace people speak, and think about how it sounds. If it doesn't have the rhythm of a real conversation, change it.

Another related element in writing good dialogue is that you want to write it using words and expressions that are realistic. First, consider the age, social class, even occupation and education level of your characters. Would a college professor be using a lot of slang that is popular in the local high school? Would a teen be speaking like a 30-year-old white-collar professional?  What era is your story told in? I recently read a novel set in the 19th century where someone said, "man". I was waiting for "dude". It was awful. A character in 1890 does not describe someone as "hot", unless they have had too much sun. Watch that your characters use expressions of their own time - doing so adds believability, and also adds a touch of authenticity!

A word about slang: One of my pet peeves is having teens with dialogue that is peppered with slang popular ten or twenty years ago. If you are going to use slang with young people - even with people in their thirties - make sure it is current. And know that even then, you may be dating your manuscript: what makes it sound cool now ("cool" being timeless by the way, haha) may sound silly and dated to the reader who picks it up ten years from now. Sometimes using as little slang as possible is wisest.

Watch the melodrama. "Oh, Henry!! I love you!" will have many readers throwing the book across the room. As in real life, when it comes to words, sometimes less is more - much more. Show with action what you leave out in words.

4 - It may be boring, but basic writing and language elements are important. Spelling errors, misuse of words, awkward sentences and bad paragraph structure, all turn a good story into a bad reading experience. Have you ever read a book where there were so many sentences that made no immediate sense - and you were so often reading and re-reading them to make sense of it all - that you wanted to give up?  Your reader does not want to have that experience.

Sentences:  Make certain that your sentences are clear. Make certain that they are not so long that they are difficult to understand. If they are, make periods of some of those commas.

Commas:  And speaking of commas, don't overuse them. If you have more than five, you have two sentences, or what needs to be broken up into two sentences!  Learn to use a dash - it can often take the place of a comma in a sentence, eliminating too many commas in one sentence. Learn the difference between using a comma and using a semicolon. Semicolons are wonderful tools - they allow you to build nuance into your sentence meaning. Learn to use them. Learn to use colons too. They will add richness to your prose.

Paragraphs:  Don't divide prose into paragraphs based on what it looks like. Paragraph divisions have nothing to do with appearance on a page: they have to do with change in subject/meaning. Learn how to construct paragraphs and break them properly.

Am I being too picky?  I don't think so. These tiny tools allow the prose to flow, make the reader comfortable, and therefore increase reader comprehension, enjoyment - and thus the quality of your book.

I don't have to say that you should watch spelling and grammar, right? And let me say here that we ALL have flaws in this area. The best editor does! Know your weak words and points of grammar.  Look it up if in doubt. Every single time if necessary.  Don't rely on the editor to clean up your mess of a manuscript.  It just makes them angry. Most editors - all of the good ones in fact - will send it right back to you, if you're lucky and they don't just toss it.

Invest in a good dictionary (collegiate level), a thesaurus (to provide alternate words if you tend to overuse certain words - as we all do), and a good style manual. The best of these for a general fiction/non-fiction writer are either The Chicago Manual of Style or The Gregg Reference Manual (of Style). These will contain fine points of grammar and usage of particular words.

5 - Don't stress over details. Don't sweat the small stuff. And you know what they say about the small stuff, right? In the case of writing, there is no room for perfectionism when writing a first draft. If you are a perfectionist, don't use it as an excuse to avoid writing that next chapter. Put the big boy/girl panties on and get rid of that attitude. The idea is to get the words down on the paper. Period. Only then will you really have something to work with later. Let me repeat: there is absolutely no room for perfectionism when you begin to write. It will kill your energy, your enthusiasm, and any fire the prose might have contained.

Worse, perfectionism by definition kills creativity. Perfectionism is really the stubborn determination to keep your thinking inside the box. But real quality writing/story-telling requires that you train your mind to think outside all boxes.

When you feel at your worst, write anyway. Getting anything down on paper is productive: not only does it give you words with which to play later, but at a subconscious level it forces your brain to keep learning to write. I don't personally believe in "writer's block". I have written for twenty-five years under deadlines: I didn't have the luxury to be whining on about writer's block.  You either put your nose to the grindstone or you don't. Some days are better than others. To pretend that you are such the tortured artist that you are mysteriously "blocked" is pretentious and a cop-out, and it won't help you get a manuscript written.  Learn that the worst days can be made productive because you can learn to value the bad prose that comes out of you, as well as the great. Many times, something you don't like that ends up stuck away in a file can come out later, undergo some work with new enthusiasm, and be dropped into a manuscript where it fits nicely. There is no wasted time if you are writing.

BONUS! #6 - The biggest mistake a beginner makes? Talking about it! When you talk too much about your story, you lose the desire to tell it on paper - because it has already been told. Keep your mouth shut, and keep the fire burning. If people ask, tell them frankly that you don't want to talk about it too much, you'd rather write it.

People will always ask, "What is it about?"  Prepare yourself ahead of time to answer. Make it short, sweet and uninformative. "It's a mystery/thriller."  "It's a love story."  That's all you need - and probably all the inquirer wants. People don't want a synopsis, no matter how tempted you are to give them one. Keep the frustration to tell them all bottled up and use that frustration to fuel your fingers on the keyboard. Your prose will be better for it!


I hope I have given you food for thought, and some new enthusiasm! Sticking to these basic rules will allow you to come up with a decent first draft of your manuscript. The relief and sense of accomplishment that you will feel when you see that you have 80-100,000 words - a full novel length - is so enormous and encouraging that you will be more than ready to start refining your work into a final draft!

Review: Missing

Missing

by Drake Braxton
Genre: Literary Fiction (gay-themed)

Seventh Window, 2012

Rating: 4.25 out of 5 stars (See Reviews Guidelines)
Recipient of 2012 Rainbow Award for Best in GLBT Fiction: Gay Mystery/Thriller Category

Drake Braxton's first novel has hit the GLBT publishing world running. I am at a bit of a loss as to how to discuss it in a review, because the plot is dependent upon several twists that will leave your mouth hanging open - none of which I want to ruin here for the reader. Let's suffice it to say that the book offers a few surprises that you will never see coming.

Imagine if you will a committed marriage of many years, not without its struggles and ups and downs, but loving nonetheless. Protagonist Blain and his husband Manny have established a comfortable life in the comparatively gay-friendly city of Boston. Blain decides to attend his own high school reunion in the small southern town where he grew up, and Manny agrees to go along for moral support. But in the middle of the reception, Blain notices that Manny has disappeared. As the minutes - and then the hours - tick by, his panic grows, especially when he finds a threatening anti-gay message on a napkin and experiences some hostile encounters with former classmates. His hunt for Manny begins the book with a bang, and invites the reader to share in his growing alarm and his frustration as he runs into the bias-induced roadblocks that impede the authorities searching while there is still time to save Manny's life.

Braxton himself says that he wanted to write a book that crossed genres, and he has certainly accomplished that goal. In fact, this book changes genre as the book progresses - it begins being one thing and ends up being quite another. The book is a joy to read - told in spare, straight-forward prose that sails easily along. Braxton understands the importance of a good opening, and the reader is hooked from page one. The first "Oh my God!" moment comes at the end of the first chapter, and that is only the beginning of the roller coaster ride.

By the end of the book, the reader has been treated to several themes and been given plenty of food for thought: about the nature of commitment; about the terror involved in becoming one's authentic self; of the struggles with self-blame that we all share in one way or another; about the ways in which our complex brains make sense of the senseless in order to preserve sanity; and most of all, about the importance of courage in making life choices after tragedy.

I sincerely cannot recommend the book highly enough as simply a damn good read. If you want a great story, a few shocks, and a lot of meat to sink your teeth into and think over for hours after finishing the book - don't let this one get by you!

Missing is widely available, on both electronic platforms and paperback.
 
Technical notes:  Every writer, even those of us who are editors professionally, misses errors in a book. We depend upon editors to catch them and help us improve the quality of the book. Even small errors in logic (if everyone in the room is standing, why are we saying, "he got up and went to the kitchen"?), confusion as to who is speaking to whom, typos, misuse of words, interfere with the flow and with reader comprehension and comfort. This book could have benefited greatly from some more aggressive editing, and it is a disservice to Braxton that it did not get that. Errors are frequent enough throughout the book that the reader can become a bit frustrated.

Additionally, the final one third to one quarter of the book is a considerably slower pace, and different tone, than is the first two thirds . . . the reader may be tempted to drift away and leave the story unfinished. But that would be a mistake, as - despite this structural problem - the deepest part of the story is very much in the final resolution of the plot.

by Lichen Craig for The GLBT Bookshelf .

Review: Chase in Shadow

Chase in Shadow

by Amy Lane
Genre: M/M Romance (but don't let that fool you!)

Dreamspinner Press, 2012

Rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars (See Reviews Guidelines)

I normally don’t enjoy reading M/M romance in the classic, formulaic sense, for the same reasons I don’t enjoy reading a hetero Harlequin-style romance: too often the characters are one-dimensional and brainless; the story shallow, predictable and lacking creative force; the dialogue unrealistic, inane and childish. It can be excruciating.

But once in a while I run into a gem (and to be honest, I have become addicted to the hunt). I recently stumbled upon Amy Lane’s Chase in Shadow, and was immediately captured from the first pages. It is a story about a gifted, intelligent, responsible, sensitive, troubled young man who lives with his girlfriend and dreams of a better future – one in which he takes care of everyone around him, builds the perfect world, and the demons of his past no longer chase him. The thing is, those demons will chase him as long as he avoids facing them down.

He tells himself that gay porn offers a chance for some needed funds, but it’s more than that: it offers him the touch of men, the opportunity to explore his own closeted sexuality, to “fly” for a few hours in front of the camera.  He keeps his job a secret from old friends and girlfriend, and all is well, until he inevitably falls deeply in love with a male costar, and then the lies he tells himself begin to unravel and Chase spirals downward into despair and clinical depression.

Chase in Shadow is not a light read. It has moments that are truly dark, and much more emotional depth than is usually present in the romance genre. While sticking to the rules of a romance – boy meets boy, boys break up, boys work it out, boys find a happy ending - Lane refuses to be shackled by the usual confines of the romance genre and deals with difficult subjects in a mature and multi-dimensional fashion. Her characters are like all of us – complicated and driven by many, and often contradictory, motives.  There are many surprises along the path of Lane’s prose, and the book challenges the reader to think over many issues aside from the story of the romance.

Technical notes: Sometimes one reads a writer that gives off the feeling that he or she is unaware of his or her own capabilities. Amy Lane writes a bang-up good romance novel, but this reader has to wonder if she could stretch her wings much further if she stepped outside the genre. She seems to be on the very verge of some seriously innovative literary technique.

For example, Lane sometimes uses an almost stream-of-consciousness style that is very interesting. However, it can be confusing and frustrating – forcing the reader to read and re-read paragraphs. But I hope that she continues to practice it – it is unusual, dramatic, and can only improve over time.  In addition, Lane occasionally – far too occasionally – has the ability to treat the reader to some truly beautiful language, as in this passage:

It was a clear, sunny day in the city, and there was a fierce wind in from the ocean, bringing with it the smell of salt water and diesel, of freedom and terrible, earthbound necessity.

As evidenced by these small hints at real skill, if Lane allowed herself to truly experiment - outside the confines of any given genre - she might find herself capable of something brilliant.  But for now, I am content to enjoy her romance, and can’t wait to see where she goes in the future.

Reviewed by Lichen Craig for The GLBT Bookshelf .

Review: The Cross in the Closet

Author: Timothy Kurek
Genre: Memoir
Five out of five stars. * * * * * (See Reviews Guidelines.)
by Lichen Craig for The GLBT Bookshelf

There are some books that, when one finishes the read, one feels lucky to have been exposed to. Within the sea of novels that have this year demanded my attention, a few memoirs have dropped.  As the year draws nearer its close, I will remember Timothy Kurek’s The Cross in the Closet as one that I am most grateful to have read – as much for its quality as a book as for its story. It is a book that demands writing in the margins, taking notes, recording hard-hitting passages for later contemplation. It is a book to be kept permanently on the bookshelf of any person who thinks about what it means to be a human being in a diverse society.

Kurek’s story has become well-known since the release a few weeks ago of this, his first book.  It chronicles his experience of going into the closet for a year – hiding his true identity as a straight man in order to live as a gay man, with all its prejudices and challenges – in order to confront his own bigotry.  The story takes place in Nashville, Tennessee, where Kurek was raised in a Southern Baptist community. Having been raised within, and thoroughly indoctrinated by, a conservative fundamentalist brand of particularly exclusionary Christianity, the decision to live in the skin of his moral enemy for a year was an enormous one, and brave. What is more difficult than looking intently into the mirror at one’s failings?  Early in the year, the author wonders of the months to come:

“...And most important, will I be able to relinquish what I ‘know’ if experience shows me otherwise?”

The book touches upon many smaller themes: the careless cruelty in which any one of us might engage given the right circumstance; the meaning of family; the diversity within the gay community itself, the diversity within the Christian world; the value of true and honest friendship; the real meaning of things like humility and love in the Christian sense; the responsibility of religious institutions to confront their own pasts and hypocrisy and make positive changes for the future.

As a reader, I was surprised by the theme of the book: it turned out to be not at all what I had expected. It discusses the author’s experiences as a “gay” man of course, but it goes well beyond that. The overall theme of the book is his reluctant transformation as a deeply spiritual person whose entire spiritual foundation has collided with a reality he scarcely knew existed.  It is not so much a book about homosexuality as it is a book about bigotry in the wider sense, and about the moral responsibility each of us has to one another, regardless of background, orientation, or religion.

Kurek speaks of the radical decision to conduct his experiment as a sort of calling that simply came to him after seeing first-hand the pain of two friends who came out to friends and family.  His own past, built upon the self-righteous condemnation – in the name of “salvation” – in which so many fundamentalists engage, was something that he was inexplicably becoming less and less comfortable with. He says of the sure moral imperative that had always guided his actions up to that point:

“...what voice was it? Whatever it was speaking to me, I knew it wasn’t guiding me in love, and that could only mean one thing. The voice had to die.”

The reader is invited to be as deeply moved by the portraits of individuals within the GLBT community as Kurek is, as he immerses himself in the gay lifestyle, even adopting a boyfriend (with the man’s knowledge of the experiment and consent), and nurturing enduring friendships.  He finds himself not only surprised by the people he comes to know, but mourning the experiences that fundamentalism has stolen from his life:

“I...drive home in silence, stunned by the gaping holes in my assumptions. I do not just feel ingnorant; I feel cheated, like I have been held back from people that could have spoken hope to me all my life, but I was not allowed to listen just because of their orientation. Tonight, I found friendship. I found comaraderie and kinship. Tonight I found fellowship. Tonight, I found pain and loneliness, but also hope. Tonight, I found a part of myself in a gay bar on Church Street.”

Yet, those hoping to find a total condemnation of religion in Kurek’s book will be disappointed.  Kurek proves himself bigger than that: he finds a thriving faith amongst those in the gay community; he never considers throwing the religion of his youth away completely – even as it so deeply disappoints him – but looks for deeper meaning outside “bricks and mortar” of the physical institution, and for a way to reconcile pieces that he does believe with the new views he has found in his transformation. Once Kurek has become transformed in his views toward the GLBT community, he confronts a new struggle: his growing anger and hatred toward the religious community of his youth. This book is not interested in condemning or stoking anger – it is interested in deeper understanding of human relationships, and in reconciliation.

The most interesting details of the book revolve around how Kurek did it: how he came to make the decision to “go into the straight closet”; how he comes out as a gay man to friends and family; his uncertainty as he confronts the bigotry that is in fact his own heritage; how he experiences a year of the loneliness, despair and isolation that gays experience for a lifetime; how he finally tells everyone who has befriended and trusted him that it was all an experiment.

As a first work of literature, the book shows considerable sophistication. I found it difficult to decide what to include within the confines of this review. Including all the most moving passages would demand pages and pages; I was often moved to tears. Kurek offers prose that is naked and without false pride: as he lays himself bare (such as a gut-wrenching passage in which he describes the guilt he has carried for years, for having - when he himself was a teenager - emotionally tortured a gay man to the point of a stress-induced early death) the reader is stunned by his honesty and by the self-recognition it induces. Throughout the book, Kurek features the voice of his former bigoted "self" as a visible entity - the Pharisee - who is always and annoyingly present to him, taunting him with the comfortable logic of the conservative right of his upbringing even as he struggles to look beyond. The author seems to have a feel for weaving themes, using metaphor to best illustrate and enlighten, and even touches upon a sort of musicality in some passages. I look forward to seeing Kurek develop as a writer, and to future works.

I finished the read with sadness: I found myself hungry for more about Kurek’s journey, and was reluctant to see his year end. I was left with the deep and enduring impression of not only his personal courage but his enormous sensitivity and generosity of heart.  He possesses great insight and an ability to walk into the darkness of his deepest fears in the name of greater understanding – a quality that only the best of us really possesses.

See Timothy Kurek's website at http://www.timothykurek.com

Dirty Little Secret: Violence and the Lives of Gay Men

Two decades ago, I was working as a counselor for a sexual assault advocacy agency. The years I spent in that job were eye-opening in many ways, but one thing that has stayed with me through the years is that sexual assault occurs more frequently against men than society is willing to acknowledge, and that too often these victims are young gay men. Additionally, when you work in sexual assault you end up working with victims of domestic violence - the two areas are inevitably intertwined. The worst part is, the numbers of GLBT victims of domestic violence are largely under-reported and under-acknowledged by institutions that might readily provide support and resources to hetero-oriented victims.

 

My novel Gentlemen's Game was born largely of frustration. I was horrified by the tendency of today's youth to eroticize rape in media, song, literature, on the internet. I have seen the face of rape in many a victim's eyes, I hope spoken to perpetrators - I know what it looks like from the inside - and I wanted to speak to that. At the same time, some little voice was prompting me to tell in book form the story of a violent incident between gay men who loved one another.  

Much of the controversy surrounding Gentlemen's Game, and the resulting conversations, has been the product of some people's discomfort with the themes of domestic violence between gay partners. The reality of domestic violence amongst gay men contains many of the same dynamics that domestic violence between hetero partners does: issues are gray, people do things they should never get away with, people forgive things they probably shouldn't forgive, "I'm sorry" isn't enough - or when it is enough, it never should have been. Things get complicated, answers are not easily found, and every couple comes with a unique set of circumstances. The novel is not about perfect people, it's about real people.

It is estimated that in the United States, domestic violence occurs in one of three to one of four gay relationships (compared to about one in four hetero relationships). This number is difficult to arrive at because the incidence is likely under-reported and/or under-documented by law enforcement. Although there are many dynamics that a violent gay relationship has in common with a hetero one - one partner who is controlling and who has developed a pattern of belittling the other verbally and emotionally, escalating to physical assault - there are many elements unique to domestic assault in a gay relationship that contribute to gay victims remaining far more isolated and lacking in support than do their hetero counterparts.

-  As is true with a hetero victim, the gay victim of domestic assault may be ashamed of coming forward (if I am so stupid as to be with this person, will anyone want to help me?), and may be conflicted by feelings of loyalty and affection toward the partner despite abuse. However, there is an added layer for gays: will reporting and seeking help be a betrayal not only to the partner but to the gay community? In a societal atmosphere where gay acceptance is a daily battle, will the image of a violent couple tarnish the reputation of gays and further the myth that gay relationships are inherently abnormal and unhealthy?

-  The gay community is often its own worst enemy. According to LAMBDA: "The lesbian, bi and gay community is often not supportive of victims of battering because many want to maintain the myth that there are no problems (such as child abuse, alcoholism, domestic violence, etc.) in lesbian, bi and gay relationships." Consequently, resources within the gay community are scarce for victims of domestic violence. At the same time, there is a widespread failure of mainstream agencies to deal appropriately with gay victims. (See this article on a gay man seeking help from such an agency.) 

-  The gay victim may not have come out to society or family or all friends, may perceive reporting as being forced to come out with all the stress that entails; the victim may even be threatened by the abusive partner with being outed in retaliation for reporting or seeking outside help (this is unfortunately a common situation).

-  There is a severe failure both within the gay community and in greater society to understand how domestic violence occurs between men and how either one could be the "victim".  In the landmark publication Men Who Beat the Men Who Love Them (1991), authors David Island and Patrick Letellier state that domestic assault is second only to HIV and substance abuse, as the third most important issue to the health of gay men in the U.S. 

The authors  paint a vivid picture of the dynamics of an abusive relationship between men of equal physical strength. One partner, whose life and reactions have not been shaped by a history and comfort with violent behavior, succumbs to the partner for whom controlling patterns and striking out with a fist is comfortable and acceptable. The incident often happens quickly - before the victim can compose himself sufficiently to react or defend himself - and the momentary hesitation is enough to provide enormous advantage to the perpetrator of violence. Additionally, the state of mental confusion caused when a loved one physically threatens, is enough to give the violent partner the further advantage:

"...violence in the home can happen with lightning speed. Within 45 seconds, Patrick has been shouted at, threatened, pushed up against the wall, punched in the ribs, hit with a fist on the side of his head, and struck in the face and chest. And, the perpetrator of all the violence is his lover."

It is my experience that people - gay or straight - who have themselves had  their lives touched by violence more readily understand the story and thus the difficult themes of Gentlemen's Game, and are far less resistant to some of the starker realities it presents.  People who have not experienced domestic violence tend to ask, "Why doesn't she/he just leave?"  or "How can anyone forgive that?" But those who have experienced it know that these questions are far, far more complicated than that.

As awareness and acceptance of the gay community grows, society will be forced to rise to the challenge of fixing the holes in the net when victims seek assistance. The first step will be in legalizing gay relationships so that (1) victims have access to and support from, the same legal options that a hetero partner does - such as legal aid for victims of domestic violence, and (2) that gay partners who gather the courage to leave an abusive relationship do so with the security that assets combined or acquired during the course of a long-term committed union are equitably divided. 

A second important step will be stretching the societal mindset around issues of domestic violence to include the scenarios and unique dynamics of violence in gay relationships. This will mean that community resources, whether they be law enforcement, medical resources, or counseling/advocacy organizations, will need to offer their workforce training specific to working with gay victims. 

The other layer to the issues surrounding gays and intra-relationship violence is one of rape. Statistically (according to the FBI) almost all male rape occurs by other males, and often in a group. Male victims in general have added difficulties in dealing with rape when compared to women: foremost is a feeling that "allowing" oneself to be assaulted sexually, reflects upon one's masculine worth.  For this reason above all others, they often fail to report the assault to authorities or seek medical or legal assistance. But for a gay male it gets much more complicated.  The assault may cause him to deal with feelings of low self-worth on top of any feelings already present due to sexual orientation. There may have been homophobic verbal assault during the sexual assault. And as is true in domestic violence, reporting may bring up the choice of whether to out oneself or not.

The psychological damage to a gay male can be enormous. As is true with a heterosexual woman, his entire ability to trust men may come into question for years after the assault. And like a hetero woman, he may suffer semi-permanent or permanent fears around sexual contact or being penetrated, leading to severe difficulty with establishing healthy sexual relationships. The gay male victim of sexual or domestic assault (and remember that too often the two occur simultaneously, from the same abuser) may suffer the symptoms of PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) for years after he has freed himself of the relationship.

Gentlemen's Game is the story of only one such situation. It is one young man's struggle to overcome violence and to somehow reconcile his life and his mind to its aftermath. His choices would not be the right ones for all of us, but in the real world these choices are not black and white, and each victim has to come to terms in a way that makes sense for him alone. 

We need to make certain that as the gay community gains societal power, we insist upon putting resources in place that help each victim of violence find his own path back to safety, reconciliation with the event according to his own values and needs, and sexual and psychological fulfillment.

Further reading and resources on domestic violence in the GLBT community:

Hear me speak about Domestic Violence in the gay community in this podcast: http://linkis.com/webtalkradio.net/int/vrme

LAMBDA:  http://www.lambda.org/DV_background.htm

Center for American Progress:  http://www.americanprogress.org/issues/lgbt/news/2011/06/14/9850/domestic-violence-in-the-lgbt-community/

 Gay Men's Domestic Violence Project: http://gmdvp.org/

(NOTE: Although I focused on male adult victims in this article due to the subject matter of my novel, issues surrounding lesbians and GLBT teen victims of sexual assault and relationship violence are equally complex and important, and we as a responsible society will be equally obligated to provide adequate resources for these populations in the future.)

Book Reviews - More Evil Than Good?

If you are a reader, do you read book reviews? Do you trust them when you do? Perhaps you shouldn't.

If you are a writer, do you seek them out? Do you cringe when you see one that you didn't solicit? How valuable are they, in today's marketplace? Do they help or hurt the sales of your books?

If you follow news in the publishing world, you already know that the business of marketing books is going through an enormous transformation. For the most part, those changes are needed and exciting. But as is the case when any entity goes through transformation, there are growing pains and hiccups: nowadays it is difficult to know where to go for a reliable, legitimate, well-done book review.

This is an issue that should concern readers and writers alike. As a writer and reviewer, I often notice glowing reviews of books that simply aren't that good in the technical sense:  I have to wonder how a reader can possibly know what to spend money on without wasting it.  I think that maybe the key is that a well-informed reader learns to consider and understand the source of the review. Writers need to do this as well.

For the writer, it's a confusing and fast-moving world once a book hits the marketplace. Reviews come from many places - some the writer asks for, many just pop up and are out of the writer's control. Reader reviews at sites like Amazon.com are valuable in that they can indicate how the book is being accepted by the public; after all, in the end if a badly-written book is making money, that may be all that matters to the writer.  Conversely, a few good reviews of a quiet well-written book that is never going to be a runaway best-seller may be all the writer needs to feel the book was worth the blood and tears it took to get it written.

I see some signs that we are headed toward reviews being held to higher standards. At present, the problem I see is threefold:  first, the marketplace is flooded with "reader reviews", from sites like Amazon and Goodreads, that may hurt a book even when they praise it. Secondly, the internet is full of self-proclaimed reviewers who are simply not qualified to be judging a book on technical merit - they are glorified readers. Thirdly, the practice of writers paying for a review is long-standing and common, and is coming under scrutiny only in recent years. Added to this, some writers review their own books under a different name, thereby promoting sales.

 A reader review such as those at Amazon and Goodreads can hurt a book badly. Readers make two big mistakes when reviewing. First, they tend to give a summary of the entire plot (never necessary for a review!) and give away the story, thereby discouraging sales; if the potential buyer knows the plot, the enticement is gone. The other thing they do is give more a personal opinion than a review - and that is exactly what Amazon intends. But "I didn't like this book because I usually don't like it when there isn't a happy ending" is a sales-killer.  The problem with a site like Goodreads is that its entire concept revolves around social networking; a clique of friends ends up passing a book around and if several of these like-minded individuals give a bad (based not on technical merit but emotional reaction and personal opinion) review, the sales of the book can be hurt, even if it is well-written and would have appealed to a more anonymous assortment of individuals.

Self-appointed review sites on the internet are also frequently unreliable. The vast majority of these "reviewers", I have found, are simply people who like to read, but have no real background in writing or publishing, and frequently no real understanding of structure of a novel, use of language, history of literature, genre - all of those components which allow a person to write a truly well-informed review of a book.  I learned this the hard way when my first novel came out. I approached a reviewer I heard about from a friend, and in my naivete sent him a copy of the book (a common courtesy from a writer when seeking a review) and trusted in the merits of the writing itself. Big mistake. The man, while admitting in the review that the writing was great, ranted about the dark theme of the book and the lack of a sweet happy ending. He in fact stated outright in the review that he read to escape from problems in life and didn't want to read a book like that. I was astounded.  So . . . the book was well-done, but deserved his public tongue-lashing, based on his own personal biases?  I'm sorry I sent it to him. It was my first real big review, and I was devastated at the time. Over time, better - and fairer - reviews began to appear, and the wound healed. I am grateful to have learned the lesson.  Now, when I stumble into the website of a reviewer, I check the site for the person's credentials. If I don't find them, I assume they don't have them.

What about the last category - writers reviewing writers?  While considering what I was going to say here about this, I did some soul-searching. I do review other writers, and perhaps 4 out of 5 ask me for the review. I think I have established a good reputation as a person who does have the background to say something fair and informative, and they trust me. I do try to be as honest as possible, and write the review for the reader primarily, not the writer. (I may say something privately to the writer about technical issues.)  I sincerely do not believe that I am lenient with writers because I share their profession.

As writers - and by extension readers - what can we expect from a legitimate book review?  I would propose the following be held up as a standard.

1  The review should not contain much in the way of summary. It just isn't necessary, removes the joy of discovery for the potential reader, and is a mark of an amateurish review. A review should never, ever give anything away. It shouldn't scream "Spoiler ahead!" - another mark of an amateur!

2  The review should itself be well-written, devoid of spelling and grammatical errors. If the reviewer can't write, he/she should not be judging someone else's work.

3   The focus of a review should be on telling the reader what he/she is buying, in terms of a reading experience. Is the story one that moves along with suspense? Does it inspire with the music of its language? Does it paint an accurate picture of an historical period? Are there structural issues that make the story incoherent?  These are the types of things a reader needs to know.  The bottom line for the reader is Will I waste my money if I buy this book?  Nothing else is more important in terms of the gist of the review.

4   A professionally-written, legitimate review should not feature the reviewer's personal opinions. In fact, I would personally go so far as to say that personal opinion - when it does not address the technical merits of the book that influence reader comprehension - should never enter into it at all. No reader gives a damn - nor should they - what the reviewer thinks about the theme. The reader just wants to know whether he himself would be wise to buy the book, given his own preferences.  All of us being human and what we are, it is tempting as a reviewer to rant about something you didn't like in a book, but I think that as reviewers we have an ethical obligation to keep it professional out of respect for readers.

5   Technical skill of the writer should be discussed only so far as it informs the reader. For example, a book with logic problems (a character is 24 in the beginning, but three years later is said to be in their mid-thirties;  or a character loses an object, only to present it three chapters later as part of a conversation), structural problems of the type that hamper reader experience/comprehension (illogical chronological twists, flashbacks that don't work), language problems (dialect written so heavily that the reader won't understand; foreign words added in such a way that the writer is showing off and the reader has no idea what is being talked about).  If it does not have to do with reader experience, it doesn't belong in a book review, but in private correspondence between reviewer and writer: to do otherwise serves only to humiliate the writer, and bore the reader to tears.

6  A good review doesn't make blanket statements without support. When a big point is made about the book, it should be illustrated by a quoted passage and brief discussion.

Am I being too anal about all of this? I don't think so. As readers we need to be able to trust book reviews, and unfortunately the state of the business at present is that few decent reviews are being written.  A book review is a valuable tool for the reader to weed out books - even good books - that would be a waste of that particular reader's time and money. Writing a good book review is an art in itself - a good book review serves the reader - not the writer or the reviewer.  If the book merits it, the review also sells the book.

Poems and Music Videos: The Art of Gathering Impressions

I have been reading a lot of poetry lately, thinking about what makes a good poem and what doesn't. It seems that many uneducated "poets" believe that writing a paragraph of prose with some haphazard line breaks and even - oh my! - some bad rhyming here and there, makes a poem. Not so. A poem is not prose, it is not narrative. (I have to wonder if, in this time of popular music being easily and constantly available, one has come to confuse the technique of writing a song lyric with that of writing a poem; they are two different entities!)

A poem, at its best - even a "prose poem" as was a popular technique when people like Wordsworth were writing - is not so much narrative as a collection of a writer's impressions of life.  A poem, perhaps more than any other literary form, does not seek to state a truth directly, but to hint at it in such a way that the reader sees a glimpse of something familiar - a truth shared with the author - a moment of realization that we all share the same struggles and joys. It is that glimpse of the familiar and the mutually identifiable that sends a thrilled chill up the reader's spine and makes the poem unforgettable.

Thinking about this characteristic of a good poem has led me to notice something about that art form and another: the music video. As is true with poetry, a  great music video is made up of impressions, not of documentary-style statements. Often the meaning of a music video is vague until the end. The viewer glides through 3-5 minutes of visual images, one flitting by after another, hardly giving the mind time to ponder the meaning of any one image. But by the end of the video, the light-speed images taken as a whole suggest a theme, a message or truth conveyed by the video and by association the song. Consider two good examples.

First, the new music video by The Script, centering on their song Hall of Fame. It might be argued that a person would have to view this 4-5 times before understanding the mini-stories within, and yet the combination of the lyrical chorus and the dozens of images on the brain pounds in the message by the end.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SSR_KbnZo2Y

Now take a look at Adam Lambert's Never Close Our Eyes. This video has taken some pretty straight-forward lyrics and offered an alternative interpretation/scenario/theme.  Again, the images fly by quickly, each imprinting a brief impression on the viewer's mind; the use of color and symbolism is brilliant here to convey an overall thought by the end of the song. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3dkVk3F57c

In the case of both of these videos, nothing is bluntly stated - all is given in fleeting visual impressions. The viewer is not condescended to, but challenged to participate in that he/she is forced to analyze a bit to make sense of the video.

When writing poems, a writer needs to understand basic and classical formats and techniques of the past. It is like gathering tools from which one may choose to best create something new. A painter who understands how to use oil, pastel, watercolor, tempura, acrylic, has a plethora of tools from which to choose, and has the advantage and joy of comfortably selecting and combining the best tools for a specific project. Likewise, a poet who understands basic tools can choose what works from a variety of tried and true techniques to create the most impact for the reader.

But the serious poet needs more than the experience of some education about poetry: he or she needs to understand how to tap his or her own subconscious. He or she needs to learn to convey impressions and feelings about, rather than explain the world he sees. This can be done in brief description, or in metaphor. When a poet fails to use these skills, you get a string of narrative masquerading as a poem. It looks cheap and amateurish:

I am sitting at my keyboard but the
Words wont come
I am lost in the fog of 
Confusion and I don't know
When I can come out or
How. 
Lost in confusion. 
Lost in fog.

Yes, it gets this bad. The above is simply not a poem, no matter how many line breaks the author sticks in there. Rather, it is a paragraph of narrative, with some line breaks. There are no impressions - save perhaps the comparison of confusion to a "fog", but that is so common a metaphor that it doesn't count.  Now look at this one, which I came across today:

Memories

by John Lavan
 

In early April, cruel showers
turn and splash and fade,
without a plan or auto-cue
or credits rolling at the end.

No sleep is possible in this wind
- memories of camping rain
spatter and splatter and splat again
my rooftop tingling brain.

Memories! A tent flapping,
ghosts insistent for remembering
- calling but uncalled for.

Almost, they breathe, look,
aching for texture
as wind and rain let up.


Within the confines of this post, I don't want to go into the many metaphors, wonderful description, the skill of use of language in this poem, that betray the high skill level and experience of the writer. Suffice it to say that this is poetry at its best. The writer has chosen freeform mixed with some classic format - the 4 lines/4 lines/ 3 lines/ 3 lines is tried and true. Notice that the poet has chosen not to be confined within a box of having to rhyme. But the rhyming in the second stanza of rain, again and brain is not accidental: the poet has used this to emphasize the tap tap tap of rain pelting a roof.  Brilliant use of language!

And consider the metaphors -  language where one object is suggested by, or compared to, another - and plays on words. How many do you see?  I love the idea of soft April showers described as "cruel"; as showers personified as not having a plan; memories as ghosts; ghosts calling but uncalled for; ghosts and memories "aching for texture". At the end this poem full of rain holds a surprise - the last line is "as wind and rain let up". The storm of memories ended.

Can you recognize how the poet here doesn't state anything outright, but simply fires a series of impressions - visual impressions if you will - into the reader's mind, inviting certain feelings?  In this way the theme is conveyed more emotionally than intellectually. This is the way a great poem works!

Let's finally consider a poem where the language is more straightforward. This is Robert Frost's beloved poem "The Road Not Taken".  I offer it in its entirely, out of respect for a great writer.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference. 
 

Frost comes from an era where narrative poetry and conventional rhyme was popular. His meter (the beat or rhythm you hear when reading the poem out loud) is a common classical one. Notice the regular rhyming - but his skill is such that his rhymes come easily: they never feel forced or like he put much thought into them (although of course he must have!). 

But more importantly, notice the impressions: A path trodden lightly "and wanted wear", a bend beyond which one cannot see, scattered leaves on the ground.  The thing is, this is not a poem about two paths in the woods, although Frost had a gift for evoking images of Nature. Rather, this is a poem about Life's paths, about the unforgiving permanence of decisions we all make:  ...knowing how way leads onto way / I doubted if I should ever come back... one doesn't get a second chance.  In the end, the narrator offers that he took the path that lacked wear, the one that few others had taken ... and that has made all the difference.  Note that the title of the poem is not "The Road Less Traveled" but "The Road Not Taken". This is significant, and not an accidental choice.

The bigger point is that even though Frost offers straightforward sentence-like lines, and the images are less vague than in the previous poem, one would be mistaken to take this poem literally because in doing so one would miss the theme altogether. Frost is speaking in metaphors of the highest form:  the road is a path in Life. Impressions, not statements. He asks the reader to see deeper meaning, to chew on his words, to do some mental gymnastics to get at the meaning.

A good poet must be adept at tapping into that odd state of mind that lies between conscious consideration of the world, and dreamlike impression. A poet must cultivate a relaxed state from which he or she can glean impressions that lie just above subconscious thought and pull them out and apply them to paper. (Many believe that poems are best written with pen and paper than on a computer, since the former taps more easily into subconscious thought.)  A poet deals with emotion, feelings, in conveying the world. He/she doesn't deal in concrete thought.

Next time you sit down to write a poem, think about the last great music video you saw. Think about what is suggested, rather than stated outright. Think about how giving the reader some impressions from your subconscious thoughts is enough, and can speak louder than stating a narrative. Give your reader the respect and gift of having to work to find meaning. Give feelings more than thought.  Then you will have a real poem!

# # #

A few recommendations:

A. V. Barber writes deceptively light poetry: he understands the value of understatement and impression. Check out his new collection of thought-provoking and sometimes humorous poetry: Me, My World and I.
 http://www.amazon.com/Me-My-World-A-Barber/dp/1477230599/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1350529980&sr=8-1&keywords=A.V.+Barber

James Schwartz writes skilled verse based upon life experience; full of impression and emotion. His book The Literary Party: Growing Up Gay and Amish in America is a combination of narrative and poetry.
http://www.amazon.com/Literary-Party-Growing-Amish-America/dp/193572505X/ref=sr_1_4?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1350530176&sr=1-4&keywords=james+schwartz

John Lavan's website:  http://poemsfromreality.blogspot.com/